What if?
by Rishka Derevko
Summary: Jack wonders what his life would have been like if he had not met Irina. Now he's about to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own alias and any of the characters.

Summary: Jack learns what happens when you make wishes.

A/N: this is a change from my usual type of stories. All reviews are welcome.

**What if?**

As he watched her doing pushups in her cell the familiar tinge of anger crept into his heart. Her nonchalant attitude while she sat in her cell made him want to strangle her. It wasn't the first time he begin to wonder what his life would have been had he never met her. If she had never come into his life all those years ago. The question lay on his mind the entire night even as he drifted off into sleep.

**The Next Morning**

The buzz of his alarm clock woke him from his sleep. His over worked muscles popping as he stretched. He froze looking around at his unfamiliar surroundings. This wasn't his apartment, the red Egyptian cotton sheets, not to mention the blonde woman curled up next to him. He placed his hand on her shoulder, she unfurled at his touch turning over to face him.

"Ariana!" he jumped. Her hand reached over and caressed his chest, curling into his side. He was surprised by the involuntary relaxing of his body at her touch.

"It's your day off remember." She kissed the spot right behind his ear, eliciting an involuntary moan.

"I've got errands to run." He detangled himself from the sheets and reddened when he realized he wasn't wearing boxers.

"I never get tired of that view."

He rushed from the room and down the hallway. Some intuition telling him where his office was located. The stunning view of the Pacific Ocean met his eyes from the glass wall on one side of his office. His hand touched the cool surface, it was too thin to be plexiglass. He rushed over to his desk looking for pictures or anything that gave him a clue to what he did for a living to be so unprotected. On his desk was a picture of him and Ariana's wedding, his face beaming, his arms wrapped possessively around her. In the picture were his wedding party as well, he noticed his marine corp brothers Arvin Sloane was his best man. But it was Ariana's maid of honor that caused him to stop breathing, it was Irina.

"Honey are you ok?" Ariana's voice cooed from the doorway. She slipped into the room and sat down in his lap.

"I'm fine sweetheart, just feeling a little disoriented. I'm fine now." His hands circled her waist and his nose burying in her hair. It smelled of hair die and too much spray. Irina's had always smelled of pomegranate shampoo.

"I hope you're feeling better because we're having lunch with the Sloanes and the Cuvees."

"Cuvees?"

"Yes my best friend Irina and her husband Gerard." She pointed them out in her wedding photo.

"Oh right."

Jack pulled into the lot that Ariana had directed him to. Atop the daunting 35 story skyscraper in golden letters was S&C International. The luxurious lobby took his breath away, it didn't come back when he saw the picture of the Co-Ceos. Sloane, Gerard, and Emily were impeccably dressed and sporting equally greedy glints in their eyes.

"Where's Irina. I thought we were meeting everyone here." Jack questioned sitting down on the sofa next to his wife.

"She's coming from the university."

"University?"

"She's the Russian Literature teacher there, not to mention department chair."

"Oh."

"Are you sure you're ok?"  
>"I'm fine."<p>

At that moment the door behind them opened and in stepped Irina. She was impeccably dressed in a black pencil skirt and royal blue top. Her hair curled perfectly around her shoulders as she glided through the door.

"Hi sweetheart." She glided past him to Gerard, who he hadn't noticed was behind them. She placed a kiss on his lips and straightened his tie.

"You look beautiful my dove." He kissed her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist.

Jack's jaw tensed slightly.

"Everyone ready for lunch. We have a meeting with the Komotura corporation at 2 and I don't want to be late." Sloane checks his phone impatiently before shoving it in his pocket.

**At the bistro**

"How are the students treating you today?" Emily asks her voice feigning true interest.

"The usual. But luckily for me I have a stack of analytical papers to read tonight." Irina smiles as she takes another sip of her gazpacho.

"But the Brookshire banquet is tonight and I've already RSVP'd." Gerard's eyes pierce into her.

"You're right, I forgot."  
>"Of course you forget the most important moment in my career. You're so selfish."<p>

Irina turns her attention back to her soup and doesn't speak for the rest of the time they are there.

As Jack walks with Ariana back to their car he sees Gerard shove Irina against the passenger door of his. She's trembling slightly. Her eyes locked with his as he yells.

"We should do something." Jack suggests.

"They just argue a lot. What couple doesn't?" Ariana slips into the passenger seat.

Jack continues to watch as Gerard takes a step back from her and opens the door shoving her inside.

**That night at the Brookshire banquet**

"Jack Bristow, the best stockbroker on the west coast. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Warren Brookshire smiles his pomegranate face shimmering in the gas lamp lights.

"The honor is mine Mr. Brookshire. This is my wife Ariana."

"Your husband is a funny many Ariana. Of course I know you, you design all of my wife's clothing and may I say you are doing a stunning job."  
>"Thank you Mr. Brookshire."<p>

"Now if you'll excuse me I must attend to my other guests."

Jack scans the room, taking in the mix of LA's highrollers and their dates. He was so caught up in figuring out how the mayor's wife was able to squeeze into such a tight dress that he didn't notice Ariana calling his name. He startled out of his musing and looked down at her, his eyes locking with hers. She kissed him softly on the lips, then handed him a glass of champagne. He took a sip and placed his hand in the small of her back as they walked over to their table. Ariana took her seat next to Emily and they began to chat quietly. Jack's attention was drawn to Irina who was standing next to Gerard her eyes focusing her in another place. Gerard was chatting away about their firm's new investment. She was only brought out of her thoughts when a small boy ran over and tugged on her dress.

"Who's the kid?" Jack leaned over and whispered to his wife.

"Their son Alexi. Honey are you sure you're ok, you've been acting odd all day."

Jack swallowed as he watched as the boy proceeded to step on Irina's foot before running off. Irina swore under her breath but didn't do anything more. Gerard was smiling slightly at the interaction.

A while later everyone was seated enjoying their meal.

"Alexi sweetheart eat your vegetables." Irina forced a smile on her face.

"You eat them." Alexi tossed a forkful of potatoes in her face.

Irina gasped turning to Gerard for support.

"Missed a spot kiddo."

Alexi flicked another forkful at his mother. Irina stood abruptly and stormed off followed closely by Gerard. As if she knew he wanted to say something Ariana placed her hand on Jack's thigh. He stood and went to the bathroom. As he was about to open the door to the men's room he heard them yelling from the women's.

"IN PUBLIC GERARD! AND YOU ENCOURAGED HIM!"

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME WOMAN! HE'S A BOY. IT'S WHAT THEY DO!"

"IT'S WHAT YOU DO!"

A loud smack could be heard followed by a woman's sob. Jack had to strain to hear the next part.

"Look at you. You look like shit. Clean yourself up and get back out there and if you embarrass me like that again you will pay for it. Do you understand?"

Silence.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yes." Came the feeble answer.

Jack ducked into the men's room and listened for Gerard to leave completely before slipping into the women's room and locking the door. Irina was leaning over the sink doing her best to get the mashed potatoes out her hair, her face already swelling from where he slapped her. Without hesitation he walked over and began helping her. She jumped from his touch.

"What are you doing in here? If Gerard finds you"

"I just want to help."

"You need to go." The tears had begun to spill down her cheeks.

"Here use this." He said handing her his handkerchief.

"Now go . . . please."

He left the bathroom and returned to his seat giving Ariana a reassuring smile. Minutes later she joined them looking nearly flawless. She had pulled her slightly damp hair back into a ponytail letting the few strands that were still curly hang in front of her face. But her jaw was obviously swollen and bruising slightly.

"Took you long enough." Gerard took another swig of the scotch in front of him.

Jack bit his tongue and was surprised that no one seemed concerned about Irina's slowly purpling jaw.

"And now the reason all of us are here to present the award for man of the year. This award goes to a man who stands for everything the Brookshire name does. He is a family man, a great father, a loving husband, and one hell of a businessman. This year's award goes to none other than Gerard Cuvee." Warren Brookshire claps Gerard on the back heartily as he hands him the plaque. Irina claps and smiles along with the rest but all Jack can focus on is the deadness in her eyes.

"Thank you Warren. I've known for quite some time that I would receive this award. It's been a long time coming. Over the past year I have been influential in bringing more jobs to the Los Angeles area than in past years. I have seen my son grow before my eyes, becoming a fine soccer player. But most of all I have come to learn more about my beautiful wife. This past year we've had fights like any other couple but I've come to realize that. . . sometimes I'm right. Seriously though I love you Irina and I don't tell you that enough. Thank you all."

Gerard receives another standing ovation as he returns to his seat, ruffles his son's hair and kisses Irina on her swollen cheek.

That night as Jack held Ariana in his arms all he could think about was the fear in Irina's eyes as he tried to help her.

"Darling what's wrong and don't say nothing." Arian turned to look him in the eyes.

"It's the Cuvees. Did you see the shiner Irina had tonight."

"She had an allergic reaction to the cilantro."

"He slapped her. I heard it."  
>"When?"<br>"When I went to the restroom. They were yelling and he slapped her."  
>"Stay out of it Jack. Gerard Cuvee is a powerful man in this town."<p>

"Powerful of not, it doesn't give him the right to hit his wife."

Jack had settled off to sleep when his phone rang.

"Bristow." He eased his arm from behind Ariana and sat up pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Jack?" Irina's weak voice, was the kick he needed. He eased out of bed and crept down to his office.

"Irina, what's wrong."  
>"Nothing. . . nothing I just wanted to say thank you."<p>

"Don't mention it. You shouldn't let him hit you like that."  
>"I . . . I have to go."<br>"Irina wait, I'm sorry."  
>"I really have to go."<br>"Can we go to lunch?"  
>"What?"<br>"Tomorrow. Lunch just you and me."  
>"Why?"<p>

"I feel like we haven't talked a lot lately. It'll be my treat."

"I don't know if Gerard finds out he'll be really upset."  
>"Then he won't find out."<p>

"Ok. My class ends at 12:30."  
>"Perfect see you then."<br>"Goodnight Jack."  
>"Night."<p>

He waits until he hears her phone click before leaning back in his chair, following the patterns in the wood paneling. Irina was so fragile, nothing compared to the firey mouthed vixen that he knew before. Did he really have that much of an impact in her life? It didn't make sense, she had been KGB trained before she met him, why didn't she still have that training? And why was he a stockbroker without her?

Jack pulled into the only empty space outside of the Department of English. His head was pounding from schmoozing with corporate heads all morning, so as he walked down the hall he breathed in deeply. Content for the first time that day. Being a stockbroker wasn't the worst job ever, but he missed the adrenaline filled lifestyle of an agent. She was still teaching when he reached her class, so he slipped in the back door and took a seat.

"Can anyone tell me what is the significance of the character of Levin? Why is this philosopher/farmer given such a major role? Or on the contrary is he simply a minor character masquerading as major?" Irina asked lifting herself to sit on the edge of her desk.

Jack smiled slightly as he watched the male students hold on to every word she spoke.

"Yes. Shannon go ahead."

"It's the classic idyll revamped. It's usually implied in works that farmers are happier and able to attain a more fulfilling life. But Tolstoy decides to make it more obvious and up front." The red head at the front of the classroom stated matter of factly.  
>"Yes, fulfillment in farming. Would anyone like to expand on this idea?"<p>

The class remained quiet for a moment.

"Chase how about you?" The boy directly in front of Jack jumped nearly dropping his phone in the process.

"Um. That's why Levin is able to find a clear idea of happiness and faith because uh."

"Continue please." She gave him an encouraging smile.

"He felt like he was a part of something bigger than himself because of his farming?"  
>"That's 100% correct Chase. Good job. Alright everyone that's all the time we have today. We'll finish up our discussion on Monday and I will return your papers as well. Have a great weekend everyone."<p>

The class slowly filed out but the boy Chase from earlier hung back to talk to Irina.

"Mrs. Cuvee."

"Yes Chase."  
>"Thanks for helping me out with the reading. You were right once you get used to the language it's a much easier read."<br>"I hope now that you've gotten acquainted with the language you will enjoy the rest of the semester more."  
>"Thanks Mrs. C."<p>

Chase walked out of the classroom and Irina wiped away the board she had been using.

"Your students seem to enjoy your class."

"So it would seem." She finished with the board and packed her satchel.

Jack joined her at the front of the room a smile playing on his lips.

"I'm ready when you are." She slung the bag over her shoulder and walked with him out of the building.

"I was thinking we could eat here on campus. They have an amazing burger joint where you create your own burger." Irina waved politely at her passing students.

"Sounds good. Lead the way teach."

After creating their burgers they sat in at one of the tables in the back of the building.

"So how's brokering today." Irina unwrapped her burger, her eyes darting nervously.

"I'd rather not talk about it. Is everything ok? You seem uneasy."

"Yeah. Fine. It's just Gerard has a habit of dropping in unexpected."

Jack decided to hold off on addressing the issue and turned the subject to lighter matters: her son's soccer game, her classes, how he was enjoying his new place, Ariana.

"You two make a lovely couple." Irina showed him where to throw away his wrapper.

"Thanks. Irina I'm sorry but I can't sit by and bite my tongue. I want to help you just tell me what I need to do." He said pulling her onto the deck outside.  
>"There's nothing you can do. He's friends with the chief of police, he has eyes everywhere . . . he probably knows about us having lunch. Jack please if you want to help me do nothing."<br>"What if I teach you how to fight back?"  
>"What?<br>"I'll teach you, just some defense skills."

"He's not some wayward thug Jack. He's my husband, I have to go home to him every night."

"Divorce him. You don't deserve to be treated like this."  
>"You don't know what I deserve. I've done some horrible things in my life and this" she points to the place where he knows her shiner is hidden "if my punishment for it."<p>

"What could be so horrible that you feel you deserve to get beaten every day."  
>"I killed his father."<br>Jack took a step back from her.

"I killed Gerard's father. It was before we got married. I was out with my friends celebrating and I had too much to drink. Everyone else was as drunk as I was and I thought I was ok to drive. I got in a wreck that night, a head on collision with another car. I didn't even know what happened until the next morning. Gerard's dad was in the car I hit and died on impact, but even through all of that he still married me. He loves me Jack, he's just angry. So every night when he hits me . . . at least I know what it's for."

"Irina . . ."

"I have to go." She turned and walked away from him in a hurry.

He couldn't do anything but stare after her.

Jack sat in his home office, his eyes scanning over the newspaper clippings he found online. Sure enough Irina had caused a wreck that killed Alexi Hollub Cuvee when she was twenty. The article had her mugshot on the front and it was obvious that she was heavily intoxicated at the time. What he couldn't figure out is why Irina wasn't hurt in the wreck if she reportedly wasn't wearing a seatbelt at the time. A crash at that impact should have sent her flying into the windshield or at least her head crashing against the steering wheel. Even the picture of the car didn't make sense. There was more damage to Irina's car than Alexi's as if she had been stationary at the time of the crash, and it was Alexi who was thrown through the front window and not her.

"Honey are you coming to bed anytime soon?" Ariana asked from the doorway.

"Sorry I got distracted."  
>"By what?" she crossed the room to sit atop his desk.<p>

"What do you know about the wreck Irina was in thirty years ago?"

"Not much. She had gotten into the academy and she was out drinking with her friends."  
>"Academy?"<br>"The police academy in Moscow."  
>More like KGB he thought to himself.<p>

"Do you know anything else?"  
>"Not really. She was getting ready to break up with Gerard that night, she was headed there when she had the wreck. Sometimes I wonder if that's the reason she gave up on the academy and decided to marry him."<p>

Jack nodded slightly and Ariana placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

"Honey. Leave it alone. The police already did a thorough investigation. I know it's hard for you to believe that she's capable of something like that but it was a long time ago and she's grown a lot."

"I'll just be a little longer." Jack smiled up at her and kissed her hand.

He leaned back in his chair his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Something wasn't adding up and it was something about that day that he felt was important. He gave up after twenty minutes and went to be.

**Jack's dream/memory**

**His feet hit the pavement hard as he thundered through the streets of Moscow. He looked back over his shoulder for only a second but it was enough that when he turned around he barreled into the woman on the sidewalk. He threw a rushed sorry over his shoulder before he continued running down the sidewalk. **

He sat up with a start, he had thought meeting Irina as a student was the first time they had met. But it was before even that. He vaguely remembers her telling him about her leg being broken when some thief had run her over outside of her apartment as she was leaving to celebrate her induction into the academy. It had been him, but he was in such a hurry to get away from his pursuer he hadn't paid attention to her. When he ran her over, she didn't get the chance to go drinking so she never had the accident. What didn't add up still was the crash.

The next morning as he got ready to head to work a thought struck him.

"Sweetheart, when is the last time you saw Irina's sister?" Jack asked carefully scraping the shaving cream from his face.

"Elena or Katya?"  
>"Katya."<br>"I haven't seen her in months but she's visiting Irina for the next week. Why?"  
>"I was hoping to talk to her about a business investment."<p>

"Oh. Her plane came in this morning."

Jack pulled into the driveway of the Cuvee home and knocked on the door hoping Irina wouldn't be there.

"Jonathan." Katya purrs leaning against the door frame.

"Katya."

"Irina isn't here, so you must came by to see me."

"I did actually." He stepped through the door and sat down on the sofa.

Before he knew what was happening she launched herself on him and pressed her lips to his, her hands deftly undoing the buttons on his shirt.

"I'm a happily married man." He pushed her off and put distance between them.

"So you're happy with her now. Funny you were loathing the very sight of her last month."

"We were having an affair?"  
>"Well you are the only one having an affair. I'm single."<p>

Jack ran a hand through his hair and breathed out heavily. Even here Katya had gotten to him.

"How long?"

"About a year on and off. What with missions and . . ."

"Missions?"

"Come here. Your talking nonsense." She took a step closer to him.

"What do you know about the night Irina killed Gerard's father."

Katya blanched and sat down heavily on the couch.

"She was drunk and hit him. What more is there to know?"

"Katya the crash scene doesn't add up. It's like her car was still when they collided."

"Jack I think you need a distraction."

"I think it was staged somehow. The only person I can see benefiting from this is Gerard but he had help. Someone who was with her that night, someone who had something to gain by her marrying Gerard."

"Jack please. Let's talk about this later." Katya began kissing his neck when the realization hit him.

"It was you. You were the one that helped Gerard. What did you do, slip her a ruffie?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me guess, they only had room in the KGB for one woman and if Irina went you would be shipped off to the military. But you couldn't have that, so you went to Gerard with a plan. You knew your sister's heart got ahead of her at times so you set up a scenario where you would get what you both wanted. He would get Irina as his wife and you would get the spot in the KGB."  
>"What other choice did I have? She always got first pick for everything. She never even wanted to go to the academy. She wanted to be a stupid teacher, I was helping her out."<p>

"You took away her choice. You made her live with a mistake that wasn't hers."

"I slipped it into her drink, and she drank it like a fool. A real agent would have noticed the scratch. After she was out we waited for his dad to come by. We knew he always went the same way. So when he got close we pushed the car in front of him, then put Irina in the car afterwards. She never suspected a thing and she still won't."

"He beats her . . . constantly. Did you know that? How can you live with yourself knowing what you did to her."

"Why do you care?"  
>"Because I love her."<p>

"Well love isn't enough."

He never saw the gun, but he felt as the bullet slipped into him, making his knees give out. It was then he realized that a life without Irina was shitty. Then darkness.

Jack started awake his body shaking profusely and his brow coated in sweat. He was back in his apartment . . . the real one. It was a little after 1 am. After gathering himself he went to visit Irina.

She was asleep when he slipped into her cell, her arm slung over her eyes. He smiled slightly she had always slept like that, even on the train in India. He kneeled down on the bed next to her and tucked a strand of hair from behind her ear. Her eyes flew open, her body tensing and ready to attack. He caressed her cheek, her body calming at his touch.

"Jack, what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to tell you I love you."

She stared at him wide eyed, her breath catching in her throat.

"Goodnight sweetheart. I'll see you later." He placed a kiss on her forehead then turned to leave.

"I love you too." Her voice said quietly from behind him.

"I know."

**Fin**


	2. Chapter 2

This extra chapter is just so it shows up for those of you who subscribed to story alerts. The entire story is contained in the first chapter.


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